ManBug by George K. Ilsley

Author:George K. Ilsley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Gay & Lesbian
ISBN: 9781551524689
Publisher: Arsenal Pulp Press
Published: 2011-11-18T00:00:00+00:00

skillful means

Today, Tom decided he wanted to fuck the blond boy. The one he wasn’t sure about. He’d seen the boy many times, and talked to him, and wondered about his accent (Saskatchewan). Thinking about him now, about the fit of his jeans around his hips, the roll in his stride, the smirk in his smile, the blue gaze flickering under the curve of the low-pulled beak, Tom felt a stirring, and in that stirring was the realization that he wanted to fuck that blond boy.

And so the crush crushed along, another whirl of another crush. The crush quieted Tom’s mind, as it provided a focus. The crush became his centre, his point of mindfulness. He embraced his obsession, his attachment, as a point of mindfulness. He loved spirituality for its flexibility. Skillful means was a delight. Skillful means was anything you wanted it to be, and Tom was thrilled that the blond boy and his desire to fuck the blond boy could become a point of mindfulness.

Without a crush, Tom didn’t know what to think about, or rather, what to be aware of not thinking about. Without a crush, the second attention had no point of focus, no moment of liberation. Not thinking about the crush became the expression of freedom, of space, of overcoming attachments and aversions. It was ironic, but there it was. Tom needed a crush in order to be free.

Tom’s crushes were practical. A crush was a new reason to live, motivation to make plans and do things. Crushes were efficient, for Tom. They were, above all, practical. No fantasy crushes for Tom. If Tom were to have a crush, it had to be an actual person in his life who he got along with (or who was at least attractive) and who had flirted with him (or at least was attractive). Maybe they’d already even made out some. That’s what it took for Tom to have a crush.

This criteria includes so many people.

He also had guys lined up as possible crushes, and that is what this blond boy was. A possible crush. Just waiting to happen. Possibly.

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